The Paul Packet

For Paul Lujan's 21st birthday (in 1999), I thought it would be a funny idea to write a packet of questions relating to him and read it at practice (yes, this is a blatant rip-off of Swarthmore's Fred Packet idea). Several people requested that I post the packet to the web site, so here it is. Final score: Paul (with Gautam) 305, Rest Of World 240. Well done, Paul!  

The Paul Packet written by Joon Pahk 

TOSSUP 1: Dome Wars. The Sloth Canon. The Instant Economist. Where (and Who) I Am. The 1986 Least-Squares Adjustments of the Fundamental Constants of Physics. Miscellaneous Stuff at the Bottom. For ten points, these items are all featured on what creatively-titled work of Paul's, written in HTML? 

ANSWER: His _WEB PAGE_ (also accept "Paul's Home Page") 

TOSSUP 2: He finished 11th at the 1992 National MATHCounts competition, which means he was the only player to finish ahead of Paul himself and still not make the countdown round. Later, he turned his interests from math to computer science, a field in which he has legendarily "mad skills." For ten points, name this native of Edmond, Oklahoma, the only one of Paul's freshman roommates to not join his blocking group. 

ANSWER: _EMIL_ "Mad Skills" Gilliam 

TOSSUP 3: "It shows two things," said this man's opponent. "One, I've got nothing to hide, and two, I'm squeaky clean." We're not entirely sure about the latter, but you could ask Mark Thompson and Brian Phelps, the two who were present for the notorious publicity stunt, which didn't even help his case against this man. For ten points, name the man who defeated incumbent Frank Jordan, despite Jordan's public bathing with two DJs, to become Da Mayor of San Francisco. 

ANSWER: Willie _BROWN_ (prompt on "Da Mayor" on early buzz) 

TOSSUP 4: Aces through tens are harmless cards and mean essentially nothing, while jacks, queens, and kings are "death" cards. If you ever acquire two death cards in your hand after a trade, you are marked for death, which happens between two and three trades later. For ten points, name this card game invented by Paul, which is based on the game "Assassin" and shares its name with a famous treatise by Emile Zola. 

ANSWER: _J'ACCUSE_ (prompt on "I accuse") 

TOSSUP 5: Traces to Nowhere, Zen and the Art of Killer-Catching, and Laura's Diary are episodes. Created by Mark Frost and David Lynch, it ran for only two seasons, from 1991 to 1992, a total of 29 episodes, including the above, and the prequel movie, "Fire Walk With Me." For ten points, name this short-lived ABC television show concerned with the question "Who shot Laura Palmer?", which shares its name with a San Francisco locale not far from Paul's house. 

ANSWER: _TWIN PEAKS_ 

TOSSUP 6: A talk on web page design at the 1997 Partners In Purchasing Symposium. An entry in Nicole Horne's guestbook. The Cyber Gumball Machine. A mention in the online list of deadbeat dads. For ten points, these can all be traced to what man who works at Los Alamos National Laboratories, who shares Paul's first and last names? 

ANSWER: _PAUL N. LUJAN_ (prompt on partial answer) 

TOSSUP 7: The name's the same. The first name of heroes of novels by Thomas Mann, Herman Hesse, and Franz Kafka. Both Biblical figures who share this name are sons of men named Jacob, flee to Egypt, and avert mishap due to fortuitous dreaming. For ten points, give the name the name shared by the 11th son of Israel and the husband of Mary. 

ANSWER: _JOSEPH_ 

TOSSUP 8: As a player, he won five titles with the Boston Celtics, who retired his #19 jersey. As a coach and manager, he has been less successful, cutting a wide swath of ruined organizations behind him. Among his most memorable recent disasters are last year's Chris Gatling trade, and his bungling of the Chris Webber situation. For ten points, name this man whose curse still haunts the Golden State Warriors, and who now has his strangehold on the Dallas Mavericks. 

ANSWER: Don _NELSON_ the _FATHER_ (not Donnie Nelson, the son) 

TOSSUP 9: This is the first sentence of the tossup, which also appears later as the third. Each sentence of this tossup, including and especially this one, is self-referential, except for one. This is the first sentence of the tossup, which also appears later as the third. He awoke one morning to discover that he had become a huge insect. For ten points, what is the answer to this question? 

ANSWER: Gregor _SAMSA_ (the protagonist of Kafka's _The Metamorphosis_) 

TOSSUP 10: Entertainment Weekly believes that this self-taught 67-year-old is "the only known antidote to Baywatch." The New York Times notes that "she is both a Consecrated Virgin and a pop star." USA Today hails her as "stuffy Britain's most beloved if wholly improbable TV art critic." For ten points, name this nun, famous for her "Story of Painting" series on PBS. 

ANSWER: Sister _WENDY_ Beckett 

TOSSUP 11: "Meat out of the Eater" is a cycle of short theological poems, and "God's Controversy with New England" is a longer work by this Congregationalist minister and physician. His most famous work among the most execrable poems ever written, yet it was so popular when first published in 1662 that all first and second editions were thumbed to shreds. For ten points, name this poet of "The Day of Doom" who shares his name with a Harvard dorm under which the T routinely rumbles. 

ANSWER: Michael _WIGGLESWORTH_ 

TOSSUP 12: Things You Thought You Knew. The Bard Goes Boom. Love, Sex, and Chocolate. Give Me A Double--An Exact Double. Fun On Our Lawn. Oh, that's a twelve-pounder, eh? And of course, the Snickerclish Restroom. For ten points, these are all memorable aspects of what in-your-face net trivia game? 

ANSWER: _YOU DON'T KNOW JACK_ 

TOSSUP 13: First and last names are the same: one is the boyfriend of Kris Kristofferson's daughter in a Eugene O'Neill play. Another is a 6'4", 315-lb tackle drafted in the sixth round, 173rd overall, by his home-town team in the 1998 draft, thus making him one of only two native players on the Viking's roster. FTP, give the name shared by a character from _Anna Christie_ and a Harvard lineman famous for being the Tommy's House of Pizze Calzone King. 

ANSWER: _MATT BIRK_ (prompt on partial answer) 

TOSSUP 14: As a verb, this word can mean to pinch or pull at something with a sudden jerk and twist, or to make small adjustments or fine-tune something. As a noun, it can be used to refer to past and present chumps on and off the San Francisco Giants' roster. For ten points, name this word that probably comes from the Middle English word "twikken." 

ANSWER: _TWEAK_ 

TOSSUP 15: This man's sculpture, "Topological III," has been seen by all of you hundreds of times, because it stands in the entrance to the Science Center. Among his important achievements are the first experimental verification of Delbruck scattering, which is a photon-photon interaction. FTP, name this first director of Fermilab, who shares his first and last name with the astronomer who discovered cosmic microwave background radiation along with his collaborator Arno Penzias. 

ANSWER: Robert R. _WILSON_ 

TOSSUP 16: Jackson Pollock. The Sudetenland. P.D.Q. Bach. Yo Momma, but not Yo Yo Ma. The Axiom of Choice. The Electric Slide. Richard Marx and the Marx Brothers, but not Karl Marx. C and C++, but not B-. Might, but not right. 311 and 5-1212, but not 911, 411, or 867-5309. All statements ending with !, and a Greek mathematician to be named later. For ten points, these all belong to which side of the world? 

ANSWER: The _GOOD_ side of the world 

TOSSUP 17: Born in 1926, this low-energy physicist has recently researched the effect of high hydrostatic pressures, developed in diamond anvil cells, on the photoluminescence of various types of semiconductor quantum well. Even more recently than that, he has angered a large part of the Harvard community with his biased and inappropriate remarks to the press regarding the Drew Douglas faculty hearing. FTP, name this Mallinckrodt professor of applied physics who taught AP 195 last semester. 

ANSWER: William _PAUL_ 

TOSSUP 18: Amedeo Avogadro, John Constable, and E.T.A. Hoffman are born, and David Hume dies. San Francisco is founded. La Scala opens in Milan. Jeremy Bentham publishes "A Fragment on Government," and Adam Smith publishes "The Wealth of Nations." Colonial forces under Benedict Arnold defeat the British at Lake Champlain. For ten points, in what year did all these events take place, which also names a musical starring Brent Spiner as John Adams? 

ANSWER: _1776_ 

TOSSUP 19: Full name's the same: one is a Virginia Tech quizbowler who led their A team in scoring at this year's JCV, playing alongside Jason Thweatt, Dennis Loo and Elliot Brenner. Another is a former Tigers pitching coach and Giants manager credited with the invention of the split-finger fastball. Still a third is the only player ever to amass 1000 yards both rushing and receiving in the same season. FTP, give the common name most famously held by a 49ers running back of the 1980's. 

ANSWER: _ROGER CRAIG_ (prompt on partial answer) 

TOSSUP 20: This actor starred in 1989's Lost Angels with Donald Sutherland, giving him a Kevin Bacon number of 2. Other notable work includes Encino Man and Jury Duty. FTP, name this actor, whose filmography was expressly forbidden by John Sheahan from the ACF distribution, most famous for stupid roles in such films as In The Army Now and BioDome. 

ANSWER: Pauly _SHORE_ 

BONUS 1: Answer the following questions about Paul's animal instincts for ten points each. 

A) When Paul is annoyed at you, especially while playing cards, he will render a surprisingly good imitation of what animal? 

ANSWER: _CAT_ (accept any reasonable feline, e.g. tiger or lion) 

B) What is the name of the Lujan's elderly cat? 

ANSWER: _NIKKI_ 

C) In a fit of crusading rage, Paul once went far beyond mere scratching and stabbed somebody in the knee with a pen because, as he put it, "I got sick of his blatant cheating" while playing cards. Who was this arch-nemesis of Paul's? 

ANSWER: _KENNY Y_ or _KEN_neth Y. _LEE_ 

BONUS 2: Name these famous people who attended Paul's high school for ten points each. 

A) This first American Nobel Prize winner in physics is an alumnus of Lowell, which is appropriate considering Paul's likely career path. 

ANSWER: Albert _MICHELSON_ 

B) He graduated after Michelson, and later became the first cartoonist to win a Pulitzer Prize. 

ANSWER: Rube _GOLDBERG_ 

C) Because of this wealthy alum, Lowell is well-endowed with high-end computer workstations. 

ANSWER: David _HEWLETT_ 

BONUS 3: Identify the following about the way Paul has spent his summers for ten points each. 

A) Last summer, Paul worked at a research program at this high-energy physics hub near his hometown. 

ANSWER: _STANFORD LINEAR ACCELERATOR LABORATORY_ or _SLAC_ 

B) Paul first met the author of this packet in the summer of 1995, when both were selected to go to the International Physics Olympiad, held in this city. 

ANSWER: _CANBERRA_, Australia 

C) For an unrelated ten points, name the man who designed the city of Canberra. 

ANSWER: Walter Burley _GRIFFIN_ 

BONUS 4: Identify these pithy sayings that Paul likes to spout for ten points each. 

A) Perhaps his favorite Latin motto is this four-word phrase, which is also the title of a surrealist painting by Joseph Cusimano. 

ANSWER: _SIC TRANSIT GLORIA MUNDI_ 

B) What did Oscar Wilde say about temptation? 

ANSWER: _I CAN RESIST ANYTHING EXCEPT TEMPTATION_ 

C) A Latin phrase which is roughly equivalent to Occam's razor is the motto of the U.S. Physics Team. For a final ten points, what is it? 

ANSWER: _ENTIA NON MULTIPLICANDA SUNT PRAETER NECESSITATEM_ 

BONUS 5: Answer these questions in honor of Paul's quarter-Mexican ancestry for ten points each. 

A) To within 25%, one U.S. quarter is worth how many Mexican pesos? 

ANSWER: _2.3_ (accept 1.7 to 2.9) 

B) Not quite one quarter of Mexico's population is in which district, which includes Mexico city? 

ANSWER: _FEDERAL_ District or _DISTRITO FEDERAL_ 

C) Within five years, when was Mexico's population one-quarter of what it is now? 

ANSWER: _1945_ (accept 1940-1950) 

BONUS 6: Name these people who lived in Lowell House for ten points each. (To the author's knowledge, none of them also attended Lowell High School.) 

A) This author of "Poorhouse Fair" and "Bech: A Book" graduated in 1954. 

ANSWER: John _UPDIKE_ 

B) This actor lived in Lowell's 8-man suite, and would have graduated in 1992 had he not dropped out of school. 

ANSWER: Matt _DAMON_ 

C) This recent Lowell alum is famous for taking a double-digit number of graduate physics classes during his senior year. 

ANSWER: Rhiju _DAS_ 

BONUS 7: Identify these people who all share something in common with Paul for ten points each. 

A) This mathematician and physicist introduced the concept of elecrostatic potential, and formulated a theory of deterministic causality. His operator is the divergence of the gradient. 

ANSWER: Pierre-Simon _LAPLACE_ 

B) This man authored FTPd and Anarchie, as well as the popular and versatile Daemon for Macintosh. 

ANSWER: Peter N. _LEWIS_ 

C) This English poet succeeded Yeats as the editor of the _Oxford Book of Twentieth-Century English Verse_. Perhaps his best known poem is "Church Going." 

ANSWER: Philip _LARKIN_ 

BONUS 8: Identify the following about Paul's namesake for ten points each. 

A) This was the hometown of St. Paul, back when he was known as Saul. 

ANSWER: _TARSUS_ 

B) Saul's first appearance in the New Testament is in the seventh chapter of Acts, where he is present for the execution of this first martyr. 

ANSWER: _STEPHEN_ 

C) On the road to Damascus, Saul had a vision of God which blinded him and converted him to Christianity. For a final ten points, name the man who restored Saul's sight and baptized him. 

ANSWER: _ANANIAS_ 

BONUS 9: As anybody who regularly comes to college bowl practice on time can attest, Paul tends to be late. Identify these related dramatic works from a description for 10 points each. 

A) Nothing at all happens in this two-act play featuring Didi and Gogo. 

ANSWER: _WAITING FOR GODOT_ or _EN ATTENDANT GODOT_ 

B) Six people involved in a taxi-driver's strike are depicted, and at the end of this 1935 play, we discover that the title character has been murdered. 

ANSWER: _WAITING FOR LEFTY_ 

C) The eccentricities of Oscar Wilde are satirized in this 1881 work by W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan. 

ANSWER: _PATIENCE_, or _BUNTHORNE'S BRIDE_ 

BONUS 10: In honor of one of Paul's pet peeves, answer the following Colvin science questions for the stated number of points. 

A) For five, which layer of the atmosphere is just above the troposphere? 

ANSWER: _STRATOSPHERE_ 

B) For ten, under what family are squirrels classified? 

ANSWER: _SCIURIDAE_ 

C) For ten, which geologic period was the last of the Mesozoic era? 

ANSWER: _CRETACEOUS_ 

D) For a final five, spell "cretaceous." 

ANSWER: _C-R-E-T-A-C-E-O-U-S_ 

BONUS 11: Identify these people all named Lowell for the stated number of points. You'll undoubtedly be surprised to find that they all had an association with Harvard. 

A) For five, this Harvard president established the House system in 1930. 

ANSWER: _A_bbott _L_awrence Lowell 

B) For ten, this first editor of the Atlantic Monthly published the "Commemoration Ode," in memory of the Harvard students killed in the Civil War. 

ANSWER: _JAMES RUSSELL_ Lowell 

C) For five, this "Confessional Poet" attended Harvard, but transferred to Kenyon College. He is most famous for his 1959 collection "Life Studies." 

ANSWER: _ROBERT_ Lowell 

D) For ten, this man was the mechanic on the TV show "Wings."

ANSWER: _LOWELL MATHER_ (prompt on "Lowell") 

BONUS 12: You may have noticed that Paul is tall. For ten points each, name these other famous tall people. 

A) Not only was he at least six-foot-eight, but the pagans say he is eight feet tall and over two hundred years old! 

ANSWER: _CHARLEMAGNE_ or _CHARLES THE GREAT_ 

B) This man played college ball at Cluj University in Romania before heading to the NBA. 

ANSWER: Gheorge _MURESAN_ (prompt on "My Giant" or "Big Gheorge") 

C) At eight feet and eleven point one inches, this man was the tallest who has ever lived. 

ANSWER: Robert _WADLOW_ 

BONUS 13: Paul has had some pretty impressive tossup sticks in his time here. See if you can accomplish an easier feat by answering these questinos about those questions. 

A) One of Paul's earliest sticks came when he nailed a tossup on this band during the finals of Terrier Tussle 6, ensuring victory over the MIT MIT Bosstones in a round where Jeff went 7-7. The clue was: They cover the Willie Nelson song "Sad Songs and Waltzes"... 

ANSWER: _CAKE_ 

B) In the words of Guy Jordan, a wispy Magic: The Gathering symbol appeared over Paul's head when he nailed a practice tossup on this creature. 

ANSWER: _WOMBAT_ 

C) Paul clinched a match against Harvard Madox Harvard at this year's mock NAQT sectionals with a power tossup on what distinguished nimwit? 

ANSWER: Andy "Big Kat" _KATZENMOYER_ 

BONUS 14: If you're like Paul, you probably don't get out much. Identify these places in Harvard Square that, to my knowledge, Paul has never frequented, for ten points each. 

A) This restaurant is tucked away beneath the Brattle theater and features a larger-than-life mural of Bogart and Bergman to greet diners. 

ANSWER: _CASABLANCA_ 

B) This Harvard office is located at 54 Dunster Street. 

ANSWER: _O_ffice of _C_areer _S_ervices 

C) This "original" blues house is located at 96 Winthrop Street. 

ANSWER: The Original _HOUSE OF BLUES_ 

BONUS 15: Identify the following relating to Harvard references from the Simpsons, ten points each. 

A) Give the full name of the curator of the Springfield History Museum. 

ANSWER: _HOLLIS HURLBUT_ 

B) When Lisa cheats on a test, she dreams that the President of Harvard (who, incidentally, looked much older than Neil) visited her and said that he would pass her application on to what other Ivy League school? 

ANSWER: _BROWN_ 

C) 44 Bow Street, the address of the Lampoon, was used as the address of whose office in the episode where Lisa babysits Bart? 

ANSWER: Doctor _NICK_ Riviera 

BONUS 16: Name these famous particle physicists from eccentric descriptions for 10 points each. 

A) If you paced back and forth muttering, "All I have to do is calculate the S matrix," you'd exactly fit this man's prosaic description of a high-energy physicist. 

ANSWER: Richard _FEYNMAN_ 

B) This pretentious Caltech colleague of Feynman is most notable for a line he got from _Finnegan's Wake_, asking for three of something for Muster Mark. 

ANSWER: Murray _GELL-MANN_ 

C) This man's important contributions in particle physics included rejecting Einstein's photon hypothesis, ridiculing Pauli's prediction of the neutrino, disparaging Feynman's development of QED, and dismissing Yukawa's meson hypothesis. Fortunately, he was well-known for other things. 

ANSWER: Niels _BOHR_ 

BONUS 17: Name these people for ten points each. 

A) This Miami Heat forward is known primarily as a defensive specialist; he was named to the NBA All-Defensive second team in 1996-97. 

ANSWER: _P.J. BROWN_ 

B) This 1995 Rolling Stone and Spin magazine's Artist of the Year is probably most famous for her creepy single "Down By The Water" from _To Bring You My Love_. 

ANSWER: Polly Jean _HARVEY_ 

C) This man was prime minister of Australia from 1991 to 1996. 

ANSWER: Paul John _KEATING_ 

BONUS 18: In honor of one of Paul's favorite hobbies--video games--give the following abstruse sequences that only dorks would remember for ten points each. 

A) This ubiquitous Konami code could be used to gain large numbers of lives in "Contra." 

ANSWER: _UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A_ Select _START_ 

B) In "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!," this code allowed you to go directly to Tyson with an 0-2 record. 

ANSWER: _007 373 5963_ 

C) In the original "Legend of Zelda," what sequence of directions do you take to get out of the Lost Woods? 

ANSWER: Walk _NORTH, WEST, SOUTH, WEST_ or _UP, LEFT, DOWN, LEFT_ 

BONUS 19: Name these books which, although they are on Paul's shelf, the author of this packet is pretty sure Paul has never actually read. Ten points each. 

A) A required text in MR 56 was this only surviving work from the Roman Republic in dactylic hexameter. 

ANSWER: On the _NATURE OF THINGS_ or de _RERUM NATURA_ by Lucretius 

B) This 1929 novel, subtitled "A Story of the Buried Life," concerns the maturation of young Eugene Gant. I read half of it. 

ANSWER: _LOOK HOMEWARD, ANGEL_ by Thomas Wolfe 

C) Paul has probably read at most the first few pages of this translation by Robert Pinsky. 

ANSWER: Dante's _INFERNO_ 

BONUS 20: Paul, Joon, both, or neither? For five points each, which... 

A) has been interviewed on television? 

ANSWER: _PAUL_ 

B) has blue as his favorite color? 

ANSWER: _BOTH_ 

C) has beaten Croatian teenagers by 30 or more points in NBA Jam? 

ANSWER: _BOTH_ 

D) has made the semifinals of Teen Jeopardy? 

ANWSER: _NEITHER_ 

E) knows the decimal representation of pi to over 50 decimal places? 

ANSWER: _JOON_ 

F) is at least 21 years of age? ANSWER: _NEITHER_